I think that one of the hardest aspects of infertility has to be seeing others around you pregnant. It is not that you aren't happy for them (though, sometimes to be brutally honest, you aren't). It is just that each time you hear of an impending pregnancy....your heart hurts. The pit in your stomach grows and you can't help but wonder....will i ever cross that bridge? Why not me?...i would be such a good mommy!
Then there is the new enemy. It is ginormous. All encompassing. It is every infertile woman's worst nightmare......it is the Babies R Us. With these new pregnancies come showers and baby gifts....and registries. I was very fortunate to have had limited invitations to baby showers this past year. By far the best solution is a polite decline and a gift card purchased online.
The one memory, however, that will probably be forever burned in my mind (and i am extremely grateful for now) is a trip that i took to the Babies R Us at the height of our infertility angst.
On a cruise to Mexico last March we met a fabulous couple who now reside in Denmark. I love Sabina and Bo dearly....even if we have only known them for such a short time. Right after the cruise they found out that they were pregnant. They were a great couple, and i was sincerely happy for them. As coincidence would have it, they were going to be in Philadelphia that summer, and we made plans for them to stay with us last August.
While they were here they did a ton of shopping for the baby, as Denmark is much more expensive and has a poorer selection. Sabina was around 5-6 months pregnant at the time. One day we went to Mimi Maternity. I remember looking at the pregnant mannequins with envy. I so very much wanted a belly....and cute maternity clothes to boast.
The next day i took them to the beast......Babies R Us. I really didn't think it would affect me that much. I had been relatively emotionally stable through these trials. I had heard horror stories of infertile women who went there...but that wasn't me. I wasn't going to get upset over a few high chairs and onsies.
Then it hit. I saw some stupid packaging label for a mattress pad. On the cover was the most precious baby i had ever seen. A gift from heaven. A gift that i wanted so badly.
I could feel my eyes getting a little teary. Sabina must have also noticed as she gently touched my shoulder....and in utterly sincere words said....you will have a baby sometime soon, and you will be here shopping for that baby. About 3 days later, the reality of my trip to the kiddie store set in and i did have a mini meltdown. I sobbed for a few hours and knew totally what the other women had warned me. I stayed away from Babies R Us.......................
..............till the the following April. Sabina was right, my turn had come!
This past weekend was my baby shower....June 22nd 2008. I remember greeting everyone and thanking them for coming. I actually found it very emotionally overwhelming. Most of the guests had known of our struggle. What they didn't know was how much it meant to me to be receiving these gifts.....from my registry.....from Babies R Us.
My shower was great. My mother is absolutely the best there is...as she hosted this day for me, and knew how much it meant to me. We had a pea in the pod theme with pea pod favors and tons of pea pod decor.
I actually felt like crying the night after my shower, looking through my gifts. My party was over. I don't think it was that i was necessarily sad....but emotionally overwhelmed. There was so much doubt about getting to this point, but i had succeeded!
Then there is the new enemy. It is ginormous. All encompassing. It is every infertile woman's worst nightmare......it is the Babies R Us. With these new pregnancies come showers and baby gifts....and registries. I was very fortunate to have had limited invitations to baby showers this past year. By far the best solution is a polite decline and a gift card purchased online.
The one memory, however, that will probably be forever burned in my mind (and i am extremely grateful for now) is a trip that i took to the Babies R Us at the height of our infertility angst.
On a cruise to Mexico last March we met a fabulous couple who now reside in Denmark. I love Sabina and Bo dearly....even if we have only known them for such a short time. Right after the cruise they found out that they were pregnant. They were a great couple, and i was sincerely happy for them. As coincidence would have it, they were going to be in Philadelphia that summer, and we made plans for them to stay with us last August.
While they were here they did a ton of shopping for the baby, as Denmark is much more expensive and has a poorer selection. Sabina was around 5-6 months pregnant at the time. One day we went to Mimi Maternity. I remember looking at the pregnant mannequins with envy. I so very much wanted a belly....and cute maternity clothes to boast.
The next day i took them to the beast......Babies R Us. I really didn't think it would affect me that much. I had been relatively emotionally stable through these trials. I had heard horror stories of infertile women who went there...but that wasn't me. I wasn't going to get upset over a few high chairs and onsies.
Then it hit. I saw some stupid packaging label for a mattress pad. On the cover was the most precious baby i had ever seen. A gift from heaven. A gift that i wanted so badly.
I could feel my eyes getting a little teary. Sabina must have also noticed as she gently touched my shoulder....and in utterly sincere words said....you will have a baby sometime soon, and you will be here shopping for that baby. About 3 days later, the reality of my trip to the kiddie store set in and i did have a mini meltdown. I sobbed for a few hours and knew totally what the other women had warned me. I stayed away from Babies R Us.......................
..............till the the following April. Sabina was right, my turn had come!
This past weekend was my baby shower....June 22nd 2008. I remember greeting everyone and thanking them for coming. I actually found it very emotionally overwhelming. Most of the guests had known of our struggle. What they didn't know was how much it meant to me to be receiving these gifts.....from my registry.....from Babies R Us.
My shower was great. My mother is absolutely the best there is...as she hosted this day for me, and knew how much it meant to me. We had a pea in the pod theme with pea pod favors and tons of pea pod decor.
I actually felt like crying the night after my shower, looking through my gifts. My party was over. I don't think it was that i was necessarily sad....but emotionally overwhelmed. There was so much doubt about getting to this point, but i had succeeded!
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